Alcohol, oh alcohol

We humans bow to thee

The spirits in the alcohol

Help get us to be free.

Karl Jung in his old wizardry

Told us all so long ago

That alcohol helps make us high

And aids our dreams to grow.

The fact we call it spirits

Tells that it’s spiritus

That draws us to the alcohol

It is not just that it’s juice.

It’s to be free we want, yes!

And inside us is the seed

watered by that alcohol

To give us the guts we need

So we can say what we want to say

and sway and swirl and swig

and when we’re kind of little

it can make us feel rather big.

Now too much of it is not so good, you know

Too much can get you mean

Or slippery or sloppily

get you fat when once you were lean

Your face might get all puffy

And your breath might dragons scare

And responsibilities, too,

Might slip to where devils care.

Drink it wise, drink it well

So that you might never hear

The doctor saying privately

But pointedly in your ear:

 

“You must stop!  You must cease!

Not a single drink for Thee.

Cut it out, and I mean now

Or next year you may not see.”

You don’t want that, that message clear

From doctor or from spouse

So drink wisely and drink the best—

The finest in the house.

Champagne’s ok if it’s Veuve Cliquot

And Whiskey best be Black Label

And if it’s wine you like be sure

To spring for the best you are able.

Always have besides your drink

A vessel of H2O

And gulp it down and ask for more

“I’m not a drunk, you know.”

“I like to drink

But alcoholic is not the name for me

I recognize God put it here

On earth just to help me be free.”

You want to drink and celebrate

With friends both new and old

Alcohol’s like jewelry

It’s conversation’s gold.

Now Uber’s here; It helps the beer,

The tequila, wine, and bourbon

Mix it up and get us home

Wiser and more urban.

Next morning, though, a testament

Can tell us if we’re right

About how much of those spirits dear

We can down each night.